Thursday, April 10, 2008

The Hairs on My Head

The Hairs on My Head
Today I spoke to a brave little hero. She is as tall as a yard stick at best, and wore a plastic spider ring on her finger. She had blue painted toe-nails and a few shaved spots on her head. She told me about going to Disneyland this past Monday, about the Hospital where the Bear is and about her cousins coming to play today. She said her nurse's name was Andrea and she told me her Doctor's name. On Tuesday, my brave little hero had a brain biopsy and today, Thursday, God made it possible for her to be sharing these precious little memories with a world worried adult, putting into perspective how precious each day's memories really are.
God knows the number of hairs on my little hero's head, even after it was shaved for surgery. He knows how many hairs have begun to regrow since Tuesday's invasion. He knows that we are so caught up in our own lives, that we couldn't possibly handle keeping track of these kind of things, and so He does it for us. He keeps our tears in a bottle, He numbers our hairs and His "God Thoughts" toward us are precious. I don't understand why a sparrow will fall, but God sees it and cares. I don't know why a four year old little girl would get cancer on her brain stem, but God sees and He cares.
I will try and savor the precious moments each day and remember that tomorrow really does have enough worries for itself. I will realize that this moment is all each of us really has and that we must live right now for Christ and for those loved ones He has placed in our lives, for tomorrow may not ever come. I will try and enjoy the feeling of fatigue, as it comes from living hard and doing well. I will look at my children each time they come in the room as if this was the last time to create an impression of their faces in my mind. I will love my husband like we were saying goodbye for eternity and love him each moment with an eternal love. I will remember my hero Lauren, forty-eight hours out of brain surgery, and live like this child, not knowing what tomorrow will bring, but trusting my God to count my hairs, make the sun rise, capture and care for my tears, feed me and clothe me and never leave me nor forsake me.

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