heavy hearts

heavy hearts draw me to God
nothing helps to ease the load
only prayers aimed heavenward
keep my mind and heart and soul
from spinning down a deep abyss
from losing hope and sleeplessness
heaviness drives me to my knees
searching for the One who sees
all the pains earth has to give
all the evils in this life we live
turning to face the only One
who has passed the test
has heard well done
heavy hearts need a God that knows
the pain of which this life bestows
on young and old rich and poor
each of us must bare a load
thus heavy hearts come from
heavy chains and bags and yokes
that bear His Name
His yoke is easy His burden is light
this heavy heart needs His respite
and asks the God who gave it all
to carry my load and hear my call
heavy hearts need lifting

life everlasting

"Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Siimon, that your faith may not fail. And when ou have turned back, strengthen your brothers." Luke 22:31-32.My friend's funeral was yesterday. I only met him only once, but I know his wife and therefore I knew him because of her. Richard was diagnosed with a rare cancer and given weeks to live. He was sent home from the hospital to die. Yet, God saw things differently. God saw the plan of much longer than weeks. God saw what Richard would do for Him in the seventeen months he had to walk on this earth and God said, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."I believe that Satan wanted to sift Richard and Diana like wheat. I believe that God said, "Have you considered my servants Richard and Diana? They are blameless and upright, they fear God and shun evil." (paraphrase Job 2) I think that Satan said, "It is because you have blessed them. Strike his flesh and he will curse you. So will Diana. Take her best friend from her and she will curse you!" "Skin for Skin!" screams Satan, and Richard walked with a rare form of cancer, and an even rarer FAITH that all the world, including Satan was allowed to witness.Diana never gave up her faith that God would heal Richard. She said, "I believed that Richard was going to have a complete healing. I believed without wavering that the God who performed miracles in the Bible, still performed miracles today. Richard defied all medical knowledge and baffled the doctors on a weekly basis. They couldn't explain it, but we could. It was God. We are not able to understand the perfect plan that God has for each of us, but we do know that He is a loving God who only does what is best for His children. Richard was so happy to be right smack dab in the middle of God''s will for him. He soon began to realize that he was to sacrifice his miracle of healing here on earth so that others would receive theirs, just like Christ did for us." (quote from the memorial servise program.)John 12:24-25 says, "I tell you the truth, unless a kernal of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life." There was so much fruit present, new seeds, at Richard's service yesterday, standing room only really. The testimony that he gave was evident in the harvest that sat in the pews. Perhaps the greatest testimony however was the children that he leaves here on earth to carry on the work that God has already started. His daughter sang a song from the musical Wicked that said, "BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR GOOD." This is Richard's legacy to his children and to his wife and to those of us priveleged to know him in some manner. BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR GOOD! Can and will anyone say that about you? Will your life and therefore your death produce a harvest of fruit? I hope that mine will. I hope that any sifting that I will go through will result in fruit in the lives of others and praise from God. What about you?

Heroes

Heroes
A routine trip to the library put my children and me in the presence of “Heroes”. As we left the children’s book room, we were invited to participate in a “Welcome Home” reception for a group of Marines just returning from Iraq. It was an opportunity too special to pass up and an important lesson to be shared with my children. These are the “Heroes” of America and America’s children need to be given the opportunity to rub shoulders with the men and women who give their all for this Great Nation of America, the “Heroes’ who keep this nation free for the next generation’s children.

These Marines, in full dress uniform, represent what is bold and beautiful about this country. As they stood at attention honoring one of their fellow soldiers; the discipline, the structure, the brotherhood that was displayed, in many ways represents this country as a whole. We too should stand at attention in unity when one of our nation’s “Heroes” walks by, for they are the very essence of the liberty we take for granted. They deserve more than a small and not well attended reception in a quiet room of a library. And yet we have forgotten them in our busy lives, the lives of peace, freedom and the pursuit of happiness that we enjoy at the expense of our Military and their families.

Most American’s seem to reach deep into the goodness compartment of their hearts after any tragedy occurs in the world. It defines us as a great nation, a giving nation, a people who care, and yet we are a nation that grows cold as quickly as it ignites behind a particular cause or event. We no longer are a people who stick to a goal until it is finished. We start well, but most never even finish the race. We are a nation that is defined by microwave passion, quick results and impatient longings. And I would assert that most American’s today could not have made it as a Pilgrim, a Patriot, or a Pioneer. We dream big, start strong and when the going gets inconvenient we quit, point fingers and find another banner to march under for a while.

America’s children, my children, must learn that America was built on the backs of men and women who gave there last breathe to the cause of freedom. They need to understand that life is not a fast forward to the best parts, but a dedicated grind, a discipline and a sacrifice to keep what is truly free, beautiful and brings joy. Our children must rub shoulders with the “Heroes” who live up to this standard, the men and women who are the present day Pilgrim, Patriot and Pioneer of this Great United States of America.

Give us this day our daily bread

Give us this day our daily bread. These are words that Jesus used with the disciples when He shared with them how to pray. Our Father who art in heaven hallowed by Thy Name. If I truly believe that there is a Holy God in heaven, a Father whose very Name is Holy, then what will my life, my thoughts, my actions reflect? Am I desiring to see His kingdom come? Do I want His will done on earth as it is in heaven? By my very life, I don't live like I desire this. Heaven is holy perfection. Heaven is the throne room of the God of Creation. Heaven is bringing glory to God the Father and Jesus Christ always. Heaven is worship. Do I desire His perfect will, as it is portrayed in heaven to be portrayed in my life?
Give us this day our daily bread. The request for daily sustainance comes only after the allegience and surrender and worship of the Sustainer is given. Only then do I come ready to ask the Father to meet my needs. Does Daily Bread only refer to the physical? I submit that it does not. I believe that I should be asking God to give me what I need daily, the bread of His Word the Bible, to sustain and strengthen me for that day. To meet the spiritual hunger, the needs that I will have, so I will continue in an attitude of doing the Father's will. As with physical life, where we tend to eat at least three meals a day, we should begin to work on adding more meals to our spiritual life as well. Snacking on God's word through out the day would result in continued strength for journey of life with its hills and valleys. When I climbed Half Dome in Yosemite, having continual hydration as well as beneficial food to continue giving nourishment and strength to complete the climb was crucial. The food taken had to provide not only bursts of energy, but sustained energy as well. If I lived my life spiritually in this manner, I would eat a hearty breakfast, full of protein...the meat of the word. I would drink continually through out the day, relying on the power of the Holy Spirit through prayer. I would snack on the word through Scripture memory, grabbing spare moments to read short passage or verse. I would make sure that I had the milk of the Word as well. The words of Psalms or Proverbs could give me the short bursts of needed energy that eating a peice of fruit might provide. I need to be more concerned about my spiritual diet. I need to choose carefully what I eat, that it is not wasted nourishment or leathal nourishment. There needs to be planning in my day, so that I will eat the daily bread that God has given me. As with every meal, I need to thank the Father who provided for my physical and spiritual hunger.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

But I say, “Walk in the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desires of the flesh. For the flesh sets it’s desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law. Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness carousing, and things like these of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.” (Galatians 5:16-25)

God is very specific as to what a Spirit-filled life looks like versus the sinful nature, and because of His “specific-ness”, we can test our lives, our motives and I believe even our music to determine what list it falls under. If one is led by the Spirit, abiding with God, the Spirit checks the heart and one’s walk when it is not Spirit led and producing fruit. Does this apply to worship? It absolutely applies, although music is only part of worship. Worship is about our daily lives and whether we are presenting ourselves as a living and holy sacrifice, which is our reasonable service of worship (Romans 12:1-2). Evaluating ourselves under the textual microscope of Galatians, can help us determine if our lives are Spirit led and fruitful or inheriting something other than the kingdom. I believe we can and should evaluate our music through this lens as well. C. S. Lewis says in his book The Weight of Glory, “All our merely natural activities will be accepted, if they are offered to God, even the humblest, and all of them, even the noblest, will be sinful if they are not (54).” So no matter what form our worship takes, done for God in humility it is acceptable.

A musician, skillfully trained and knowledgeable in musical theory, might wrestle with what God deems as “Good” music, “His Music”. Here is a scenario: Joe lives in a backwater town. He has played the guitar for 6 months and his buddy plays the jimba. They are the worship team for church. They play, “Let it Rise” and “More Love, More Power”, it’s what they know. The congregation joins in worship. They aren’t worried about how they sound; they come as children of God, doing their best. This is their offering. Is it not acceptable? Wrong rhythm? Show me a verse. Wrong words? Maybe? A heart broken in worship before God = a pleasing aroma.Joe is off key, he plays to the best of his 6 month ability, but God is honored because his life and therefore music represent a Spirit-filled life, an offering of praise. Does it sound good to a musically trained ear? Maybe not. Does it sound good to God? His ear is trained to hear the heart, not necessarily the sounds of the music. I believe that God takes the sounds that we make for Him, purifies them with fire and it becomes music that even the angels enjoy.

The Bible says we are to play skillfully to the Lord. The skill is what the Lord has given us and we use it, even if it is a drop in the bucket compared to another man’s skill, to glorify Him. God doesn’t quantify the skill, He requires that we do all to glorify Him. Just like the woman with the mite, she gave of what she had. Ultimately she gave back to God what He had given her, and we are to do the same. We are to give, to play, to teach, or to sing skillfully with what God has entrusted to us. God is very descriptive and detailed oriented. His Word lays out in precise detail how the Old Testament temple was to be crafted and how the New Testament church is to be orderly. He tells us how sin is to be dealt with and how salvation must be received. Even our bodies give evidence of the amazing detail God has ordained. However, nowhere do I see, in either the Old or New Testament a detailed description of the genre or style of music that is to be played. And if one could go and find the music of Israel, 3000 years ago, and learn to play the songs and sounds of this chosen nation, they still wouldn’t necessarily be God’s favorites. Why? They were still written by sinful men. David was filled with the Spirit and inspired when he wrote so many of Psalms, but the melody for these God inspired verses are lost in antiquity. Is it because God desires that we find a new song in our hearts? It is the heart of the song, the life giving words that bring a person to reflect on the beauty of the Lord, the music itself is only the gift wrapping. We have an advantage in that we always have the Spirit, if we are a child of God. He is our Counselor, our Spirit of Truth, our Comforter and our “Conviction” (John14:17 & 26, Hebrews 4:12). The music of ancient Israel, though beautiful, came from feeble men, like you and me. Although they were a chosen people, that didn’t keep them from repeatedly sinning against the Lord, like you and me. Our heritage, chosen and washed by the blood and sealed with the Holy Spirit can help us make music that is godly and holy, because it is generally written during times of devotion and prayer and study with God. We also can take a song written by a child of God, even an ancient Jewish hymn and make it a clanging symbol, if we are playing and singing it with a divided heart.One must follow God’s lead and prayerfully seek Him in the matter of correct musical style, because no where is it described in the Word. To dictate a style by justifying it with the traditions of the rabbi’s, is to add (like the rabbi’s, Pharisee’s and teachers of the law) something that is not part of the true worship of God. John 4:24 says that, “God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.” This is the requirement God demands of our music, it must line up with this and it should produce the fruit of the Spirit as well. This is a good furnace to test our worship music and our motives. To much is given….much is required. As a Christian musician, one must desire to know God and His heart.

One must recognize the Creator, and create music to bring honor and glory to His Name alone.Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Handel all had gifts that were at times used for God’s glory. The music they crafted is “high music” and I believe that all generations would benefit from listening well and appreciating their music. It is a well rounded person who can enjoy many forms of art. There is music however, that in comparison is barely music. By most standards, today’s music falls very short of this standard of “high music”. However, if played by a willing and humble servant of God, it is majestic to Him because He hears tones we can not, the tone’s of a worshipping heart (1 Sam. 16:7) and the Spirit that dwells within the individual communes with the Father (Romans 8:26-27). Music is highly important to God. He created it. He wrote an entire hymnal in His Word in the book of Psalms. Our responsibility is to come before His presence with singing and praise as a result of what Jesus Christ has done for us. This is ultimately the only reason we can praise Him. There is freedom in knowing that I come through the blood, my heart is cleansed by the blood, the reason I sing is because of the blood and my offering of love is not to the law but to the law giver and the only One who fulfilled the law. We sing and worship and live and breathe in the grace that He provided, and not under the law. Praise God, because I know that I would never have anything worthwhile musically or otherwise if I was still under the Law. We have much to praise the Lord about! To much is given….much is required.

The Hairs on My Head

The Hairs on My Head
Today I spoke to a brave little hero. She is as tall as a yard stick at best, and wore a plastic spider ring on her finger. She had blue painted toe-nails and a few shaved spots on her head. She told me about going to Disneyland this past Monday, about the Hospital where the Bear is and about her cousins coming to play today. She said her nurse's name was Andrea and she told me her Doctor's name. On Tuesday, my brave little hero had a brain biopsy and today, Thursday, God made it possible for her to be sharing these precious little memories with a world worried adult, putting into perspective how precious each day's memories really are.
God knows the number of hairs on my little hero's head, even after it was shaved for surgery. He knows how many hairs have begun to regrow since Tuesday's invasion. He knows that we are so caught up in our own lives, that we couldn't possibly handle keeping track of these kind of things, and so He does it for us. He keeps our tears in a bottle, He numbers our hairs and His "God Thoughts" toward us are precious. I don't understand why a sparrow will fall, but God sees it and cares. I don't know why a four year old little girl would get cancer on her brain stem, but God sees and He cares.
I will try and savor the precious moments each day and remember that tomorrow really does have enough worries for itself. I will realize that this moment is all each of us really has and that we must live right now for Christ and for those loved ones He has placed in our lives, for tomorrow may not ever come. I will try and enjoy the feeling of fatigue, as it comes from living hard and doing well. I will look at my children each time they come in the room as if this was the last time to create an impression of their faces in my mind. I will love my husband like we were saying goodbye for eternity and love him each moment with an eternal love. I will remember my hero Lauren, forty-eight hours out of brain surgery, and live like this child, not knowing what tomorrow will bring, but trusting my God to count my hairs, make the sun rise, capture and care for my tears, feed me and clothe me and never leave me nor forsake me.